Hello, friends.
Here it is Friday, yet again.
Ever have those weeks that start great but end less than wonderful?
You survive the uphill climb Monday and Tuesday, arrive on top on hump day, and then take a fast downhill plummet Thursday and Friday.
No? I guess it's just me then.
When I think of each day this week, a single word instantly comes to mind, summing up my feelings toward that day.
Good.
OR
Bad.
I view my days in absolutes.
In my economy, the the goodness of a day is rated on a scale of productivity.
If I accomplish, achieve, succeed, progress, or check all my items off the list, it has been a good day.
If more than one or two of my goals is unmet, I quickly label my day negatively.
This has been an unhealthy pattern in my life for many years. Having experienced the bondage and guilt that ensue from this mode of operation, I have made a significant effort to balance my lifestyle. I preach the Gospel to myself and surround myself with friends who remind me that
there is nothing I can do to make God love me any more or any less.
I don't need to achieve in order to receive acceptance, because my works were never the crux of the matter. When God the Father looks upon me, He sees only the perfect life Christ lived. The Great Judge was satisfied when Jesus Christ took the punishment for my wrongs (and my continued efforts to do
right in my own strength!). Not only that, but the Judge adopted me and bid me call him Father.
I am declared perfect by the One who has all authority.
I am loved by a Father as if I have been guiltless from my first breath.
Yet still my soul is downcast when I fail. Failure may seem a strong word to you, but that is the weightiness of what I experience some days when I come up short on my practice hours, experience relational tension, eat poorly, or lose my constant housekeeping battle.
You see, I am realizing (and re-realizing) that it is not just my days I label, but myself.
My entire identity so easily intertwines itself with my goals. While it is sick, I must admit I love feeling like a one-man assembly line. Give me a challenge. I'll meet it.
Irony of ironies. In an effort to truly find my worth, I have dehumanized myself.
Beep boop.
This is why we must preach the Gospel to ourselves daily. Hourly. Moment-by-moment. My heart idols of pride and acceptance and control will find a way to rear their ugly heads in any and every situation possible.
Just as the solution is not found in perfect days, neither will it be found if I stop practicing, avoid relationships, ignore my health, or let the dishes pile up. These are all good things. It is when I let them become ultimate, defining things that my life is out of balance. It is so much easier to be extreme than to find a happy medium. So much easier to do the maximum or the minimum. It is the simplicity that proves far more challenging than the complex.
We can seek to uncover our heart idols by asking questions like, "What am I most afraid of?" or "What is the one thing I don't think I can live without?" Things that make us angry are often deeply rooted in heart idols, as well.
So now that we all feel terrible about ourselves, what do we do?
If you're like me, you simply want a checklist, a rubric to make certain you have all your bases covered, all your ducks in a row. Beat those idols into the ground. That'll show them.
And of course all that would be counterproductive.
Paul tells us, "If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9, NIV)
Saved. Continually. Daily. From my wrongs. From my "rights."
My legal status has been and will always remain one of innocence in the Judge's eyes. My salvation is
sure and secure. But my heart needs reminded of that which will always remain true: I am loved apart from my works. It's never been about me. It never will be.
I want to take my cue from Paul, who considered nothing as valuable as this Truth and continued to press forward in the face of setbacks.
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ - yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:7-14, emphasis mine)
I am so thankful this old Truth continues to resonate!
"Because of the LORD's great love
we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new
every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23, emphasis mine)
