Direction

I took these two photos just about a year ago. I snapped only two and did so quickly - thus the blur - so as not to appear too interested. Because, really, there was no way I could let myself dream that big.

Even the professor I played for told me I wasn't at the level of the school.

Deep down I had to admit that I had fallen in love with this school since I first stepped foot onto its grounds. Everything about it was warm and inviting. But still out of my league.

Even so, I decided to audition, knowing that any doors that opened would only do so because the LORD had ordained it. I did my part with the hard work and all, but so many things were out of my control. I was blessed with an incredible teacher who helped me through this entire process.

I heard in early February that I passed my audition.

I was thrilled, somewhat surprised, and entirely anxious!

Then began the long wait.

Two months of wondering why God would open doors just to seemingly provide no direction.(Impatient much?) The national commit date for graduate music programs is today, April 15. One week ago today, I still had no idea if and where I'd be going to school. I had been accepted to two other schools, but Tyler and I had decided not to move on account of either of those options.

Still, I had this nagging feeling, this prompting, this small voice that said, "I haven't closed the door." I believed God would open the door, but in all honesty, I was confused. I wanted to have faith that God could do more than we ask or think. But was that "faith" just my own selfish desire?

There were a lot of quiet battles that took place in those two months of waiting. Lots of prayers, encouragement, lots of hard days. Just when it appeared the door was not going to open (and when I had stopped checking my email every two minutes), I received an extremely generous scholarship offer from Southern Methodist University.

Yesterday, I signed my offer and committed to attend this coming fall.

I will be pursuing a Master of Music in Piano Performance and Pedagogy at the Meadows School of the Arts. (Read about it here!) And yes, I will be studying with that same professor I played for last year.

I am thrilled, somewhat surprised, and entirely anxious!

:)

Seriously, though, it is a mixed bag of emotions! Tyler and I are going to step out in faith and believe that the LORD will be our Jehovah Jireh through this process. We are going to miss everything about our home. It will be hard, but it will be good. There are so many implications to this decision, and we are just beginning to sort through them.

If anything has been evident through this process it is that it has been entirely God's doing.

I am stunned by God's Goodness to us. He treats us far better than we deserve.

He has shown the way, now we have only to walk in obedience.