Service is a Choice

Recently, a predicament was brought to my attention. This came in the form of a (phone) call for help in organizing and coordinating a wedding reception.

Now, if you know me at all, you probably know these things about me:

1. I like to plan in advance

2. I like things to go according to plan

As an INTJ, plans are my best friend. They lead to solutions, conclusions, and completed checklists. So you think this would be right up my alley...right?

The predicament with this particular event was that the date was a mere two weeks away. Let me just say that nothing was done the way I would have done it...and leave it at that. 

After some consideration, I agreed to help.

And this is why: my life has been entirely about me since our relocation. We have been benefiting from a new church community and new work and school facilities, but we have not yet had many opportunities to give back. I truly felt prompted to step in and serve. No, not "save the day," although I was admittedly tempted to think of myself as some sort of Joan of Arc figure, sacrificing myself for the good of others. That leads me to the second reason I agreed to help: I am in dire need of learning to live humbly. I am highly driven, and I crave recognition and validation from others, especially in my art. The LORD is teaching me to quiet my heart and my mouth and look for ways to uplift others instead of myself. 

From the beginning, I knew this could not be about me, or I would end up frustrated and bitter. No, serving is about making less of one's self and seeking to exalt others - to desire their goodness above my own.  

I won't sugar coat it: many things did not go according to plan, many things fell through the cracks, and many sore muscles ached for days. 

Thankfully, I think I can also say that many of these things went unnoticed or were ignored, because it was a beautiful celebration. I felt entirely blessed by the quiet gratitude shown me by few individuals. That was more than enough. 

Even with as many decisions as I made in regards to timing, placement, order, etc., those were far easier than the choice I faced moment after moment:

Serve or slander. 

Maybe this was less about how a bride and groom should have done this or that differently, and more about my heart learning to release control and choose service in each moment. 

My words and my attitudes are far more challenging to keep in line than any schedule of events. 

I am grateful for the LORD's patience with us and the opportunities He provides for us to practice. He is the best teacher. 

The Waiting Game

When I was young, I saved my pet sitting money and dreamed up my next big purchase - like a Razor Scooter, a security camera for my bedroom (true story), a phone-booth telephone for my room, a CD Walkman, and eventually a laptop.

Thankfully, my parents thwarted some of my crazier ideas, and in the process taught me a great lesson about patience. My dad required me to wait ten days and think about my purchase. If I still deemed the purchase worthwhile at the end of the ten-day period, he would drive me to the store to spend my hard-earned dollars.

Frustrating, to say the least! Today, however, I am grateful for this lesson. Not only has it saved me from numerous impulse purchases and rash decisions, but it has also proved that waiting for something you care about is worthwhile.

But what about big life decisions?

Often we're asked to wait: by parents, employers, institutions, or our Heavenly Father.

Tyler and I wanted to wed sooner. I had dreamed of a December wedding.

Instead we were asked to wait. In return, we received the blessing of our parents, the presence of our beloved families...and a July wedding. Looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. God's timing was perfect.

It is always perfect. The wait is always worth it in God's story. He loves to bless His children.

I trained hard for my marathon and planned to cross the finish line in under four hours. Red light. You can't plan around hospital visits.

While I still feel some disappointment, I also have an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my returning health. The fact that I was well enough to audition was a gift straight from Heaven.

Now I find myself in the waiting game yet again. We have some direction and information from my school choices, but not enough to make a decision or move forward. Schools operate on their own timetables, and I will not always be first on the list.

It would be easy to mope around or wallow in anxiety. Sometimes I'm halfway there. I'm taking it one day at a time, loving the opportunities and relationships in front of me.

On a perfect Friday afternoon, Brooklyn and I headed to my parents' neighborhood lake and soaked up the beauty of it all.

Brooklyn is my daily reminder that, "LIFE IS AWESOME!!!!" because she embraces every moment as if it is the best moment of her life.

Then & Now

Before we were married, Ty took me on this fantastic date to The Great Pumpkin Patch. We picked out pumpkins and then painted them at his parents' house. (You can read about that here.) I love Peanuts, and this has always been one of my favorite date-night memories!

Three years, lots of dates, one wedding, one Brooklyn dog, and about twenty inches of hair later (seriously!), we returned to the same spot!

This makes me thankful. Life is beautiful!

Mailing Life

When was the last time you wrote a letter?

No, not a long text message or email. A hand-written, addressed, stamped letter.

While I love the convenience of sending a quick text anywhere, anytime, I feel sad that the art of letter writing is passing away. I think of all the letters saved throughout history. The correspondence between John and Abigail Adams alone is enough to cause me to carve out fifteen minutes and write.

On Saturday, I did just that.

Words are treasures to me. That is why I journal, blog, and (try to) send notes. I save every personal card and frequently re-read them. Nothing cheers me more than finding a note left from Ty or a letter in the mailbox with my name across the top. (Yes, I was the child who stalked the mailbox for a month leading up to her birthday!)

There was nothing of great consequence in my letter. It was just a little bit of life, mailed with love. Sometimes being present in the everyday means just as much as sharing in the momentous. Since we are great friends separated by great distance, a stamped envelope from Mrs. to Mrs. will cross the many miles for me and hopefully bring a little joy into Mrs. T's day. :)

Most beautiful bride!
(michaella elliott photography)

The Best Cow Day Ever

Today is Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A. I'm thinking of dressing up (in keeping with tradition, of course), but after last year...

July 13.

My wedding day.

Cow Appreciation Day.

Perfect combo. (Pun definitely intended!)

It doesn't get any better than Cow Day '12 for me!

Emptied and Filled Up

What a whirlwind of serving and receiving, of outreaching and fellowshipping, of striving and rejoicing!

My childhood best friend, Tali Rose, was wed last night. I joyfully bore the title, "Matron of Honor," and at twenty-three years of age I was the oldest of the eighteen attendants beside Tali and Garrett.

 I'm not sure I can remember ever being this tired -- except for maybe a 24-hour period when I had to give a piano recital and take a music history final exam. In the end, I came up full and not empty. While I gave everything of myself, I felt poured into ten-fold.

Here is my numbering of gratitude this weekend, for I discovered bounty upon bounty.

1. I ate lamb for the first time and loved it.
2. My dietary needs were accommodated splendidly! I am craving another slice of homemade grain-free cheesecake that I was served at the rehearsal dinner.
3. My SIL, Kelly, rescued me from "outfit crisis." I had spent so much time getting other things ready that I neglected my personal details for the rehearsal dinner. I called her last-minute, and she stepped in marvelously!
4. Our friends, Erin and Justin, kept Brooklyn overnight for us while I ran the bachelorette party and again during the rehearsal. Huge blessing!
5. Ty's family kept Brooklyn the entire wedding day. I never once worried.
6. Good (and might I add unexpected) conversation with new friends
7. Time alone running on the beach
8. Hosting Bailey, one of Tali's bridesmaids. I fell in love with her instantly! Her positive attitude and sweet spirit were a blessing on our home!
9. My dear friend, Haylee, made it down for the wedding. She spent the entirety of her short visit assisting the wedding party and me. I know she saved the day at least five times yesterday. At least.
10. The rain held off. For the bachelorette party, the rehearsal, and the wedding. This is no small feat in the middle of June. Thank you, God!
11. Exchanging words with my bestie. Mine were pronounced in the presence of witnesses, while hers were tucked away in an envelope. Both instances are sealed upon my heart.
12. Seeing myself more honestly. This is a scary thing, for sure, because my heart is so entwined in idols of control and acceptance and pride. In many moments of potential stress, I found myself taking a deep breath and choosing not to nag or question. I definitely found myself overreacting at times, but at least I was beginning to see my tendencies.
13. My husband selflessly ran around all day for the wedding party (okay, mostly for me!) without complaint.
14. The best man asked me more than once how he could help out. He even gave Tyler his tie, which matched my floral dress. Again, blessed by someone I met only Saturday.
15. The bridesmaids are the most wonderful bunch of ladies. Multiple times throughout the day, they checked in on me and asked me how I was. They even brought me food and made me sit down more than once. I received so many hugs that I was beginning to feel like the bride. Wow. Those girls love well.
16. Tali loved the decor! We worked so hard on the decorations and room set up in the morning. I had left the mostly-necessary information at home, so our group improvised instead. When Tali arrived and exhibited sheer delight at the sight of her reception barn, I was overjoyed.
17. My mom stepped in today and did an airport run for me. I enjoyed Dumbo and a nap with my newphew. Perfect rest and recuperation!

Bridal shower at my mom's! Missing three bridesmaid.

Bachelorette fun! Only missing Mary Elisabeth here.

Wedding superhero by day, hottie by night (Haylee, that is!)

I love this man. Can you tell? Shout-out to Kelly! My entire outfit belongs to her. The hair is mine.

Shuffleboard rehearsal?

Wedding party, minus Mary E. She was stuck in London due to flight cancellations, poor thing!

Love these girls!

Poor lighting, but I insisted on a picture. I have zero from my own rehearsal and dinner.

One of the best parts of the wedding day! Tali's ankle was hurting, so she was icing it in bed. Eventually a bunch of us ended up piling in, too!

Blessed to have met Bailey, Tali's ID bridesmaid!

Mary Elisabeth! All the way from Scotland! She has the best laugh.

Sweet Mollie! This girl and I are planning our first marathon...details to come!

My gorgeous friend (Photo by Kait)

The barn! (Photo by Kait)

First dance! (Photo by Sierra)

A little R&R with my favorite nephew! I can only say that a few more months, because IT'S A BOY! Baby boy will be joining us December 2nd.

Tyler Thursday

Every Thursday could easily be brag day about my husband. But today is especially so, because it's his birthday.

Birthdays are big deal where I come from.

They usually last two weeks - minimum - and involve multiple celebrations.

Ty has never been one to make a big deal out of himself, so I'm going to do it for him.

Here are twenty-four reasons my husband is just perfect for me. Can't wait until you're fifty, Ty! Then I can say nearly half of what I want.

1. He loves Jesus. More than he loves me.

2. He loves me second. Nobody else is close for the tie.

3. He understands the value of our extended family. Then again, our families are rockin'.

4. He is always willing to listen, no matter what craziness comes out of my mouth. No idea is too ridiculous to him. And he doesn't laugh at me.

5. But he certainly makes me laugh! Ty's sense of humor is one of my favorite things about him. He can always make me laugh, even when I'm low or in super-productive mode.

6. He supports me in all my endeavors. He is always there to encourage me and cheer me on. This is especially the case in my musical studies. He goes out of his way to show me he cares about my passion.

7. He is a patient man. If you know anything about our dating story, you know this to be true. It remains so, and I am increasingly grateful! He always trusts the payoff will be worth the wait.

8. He loves his sisters. My mom always told me that how a man treats his sisters is how he will treat his wife. I listened, Mom. My Ty loves and looks out for his sisters always.

9. He tells me he loves me, every day. I may be covered in sweat or sick in bed.
No matter - he says so just the same.

10. He is flexible. Chances are, if I ask him to help me with something or change his plan for the day, he will do it.

11. He eats whatever I make. Some days are better than others, for sure. He always blesses the food and thanks God for me.

12. He chooses not to complain. He gently reminds me that sometimes my version of ''stating the facts'' is a bit whiney. He rarely darkens his circumstances by his descriptions.

13. He is excited about our dog. This may sound silly, but it's something that has made me love him even more. I so enjoy watching him play with Brooklyn. I can tell he's head-over-heels for her, and I know he will be a great dad one day.

14. He is a hard-worker. Ty is devoted and dedicated to whatever he sets himself. Talk about intrinsic motivation.

15. He is a servant. If something needs done or someone needs assistance, he is always quick to volunteer his time and efforts.

16. He is full of surprises! I love finding out new tidbits or hearing his spin on an old story. Invariably, I learn new things about him all the time!

17. He is loyal. He loves to follow his favorite bands from high school, purchase the soap Mamacita always bought, and reconnect with old friends. He is most loyal to his family.

18. He is level-headed. I tend to be hot-tempered. At least one of us thinks before speaking his mind.

19. He is an honorable man, above repute. A true gentleman.

20. He thinks the best of others. This is sometimes astounding to me, and then so encouraging! What a relief to let go of speculation and the anxiety which can accompany it.

21. If I'm in need of ice cream or dark chocolate, he will magically make my wishes come true.

22. He helps me escape the box. I mean the one in which I so often try to live and force everything else to follow suit. He shows me that life is wonderful and beautiful even when the daily to-do list isn't accomplished or the budget is off by five dollars.

23. He is a learner. I love that he's always talking to me about something new he heard or a new skill he learned. Whenever he is interested in something, he sure does his research. I guess we are alike in this way. (Between the two of us, we know a heck of a lot about dogs now!)

24. He's mine.

I love you, Tyler Neil!

Happy 24th birthday! I joyfully anticipate many more birthdays.

2008

2009

2011

Engagement Pics, March 2012

Our Wedding, July 2012

Late-night Dunkin'

Such a good sport! Sone and Julia bought these from Thailand for us as a wedding gift!

Fall fair fun!

Sister/Brother love

Thanksgiving Day

Family time

I also love that Ty's a drummer!

Thanksgiving fun with our good friend, Matt

My graduation day!

Favorite!

First Christmas

Getting ready for Brooklyn!

First family outing

Celebrating my 23rd birthday

Awwwwww!

Supporting our local crisis pregnancy center at its annual Walk for Life

Our family on Easter Sunday, 2013